Attempting Ambition

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. -unknown strength I took the elevator up to the unit I would be working in on this particular day. I sauntered over to the nurses’ station in my black scrubs with much less than a smile on my face due to my early rising of 5am and my inadequate coffee consumption. The nurse states that I will be in a particular room for the day. She also says “good luck, that lady is absolutely crazy”.  Now for those of you who don’t know what I do for a living, I am a Patient Safety Assistant (PSA). I sit (literally) with psychotic/suicidal patients who are at risk for hurting themselves. So yes, Ms-know-it-all-nurse, I’m sure she is probably not the most mentally stable. I walk into the room and the frail seventy-something-year -old woman is in he

So here is a funny story you all may enjoy. Ben and I have been shopping around for wedding bands. After seeing what all the jewelers had to offer, we finally selected and purchased his band last night. I absolutely love my marquis diamond engagement ring with round accent stones.  Ben had this custom designed using family diamonds, but this custom ring was turning into a nightmare. We had been to almost every jeweler in St. Charles/St. Louis with no luck in finding a band that looked right with my custom made engagement ring. I liked the look of double diamond bands on either side of the ring, but that was outrageous in price. Finally, we found the perfect setting about two weeks ago, but decided not to purchase just yet. As I said we purchased Ben’s band last night, so then since he got his ring I wanted to at least go look at the setting (a diamond guard that my engagement ring will sit inside) that I had decided on. The store happened to be  holding a sale yesterday that took a

Be strong and endure for one day this pain will be useful. We all know those people to whom everything has been handed. The people who have everything and have worked for nothing. Before you get excited, this post is not being used to bash those people. It is not their fault.  I will also say, if you are one of those people, this post is also going to be beneficial to you. We are all dealt cards in life. Some get the good ones, and some get the shitty ones, but it is all in how you play the game. We tend to envy those who have it all, but what if I said they should envy those who have struggled. To those of you that have cried, screamed and fought in life, I praise you. For those who have thought that they couldn’t accomplish something and then did, I admire you. For those of you that kept going when no one thought you could, I commend you.  In my life, I have struggled, a lot. I can tell you that I wouldn’t change anything that has happened to me. If there is anything that I h

When going through an old box the other day I came across this poem. It was from when I attended an arts academy when I was in high school. The purpose of this poem is inspiration. Enjoy. THE INVITATION   By Oriah Mountain Dreamer It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.  It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.  It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.  I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance

Sometimes I feel myself whining about wanting things to be different (I’m sure you can all relate). I want to be skinnier. I want Ben and I to have our own place. I want to have more money. I want more gratification for all the things I do. I want, I want, I want…. Then I began to think about all the things I “want” and gave myself a little pep talk about always searching for “more”. "I want to be skinner"- Get over it Liz. At least you can walk and have no physical handicaps; there are some people out there who cannot say that. Go to the gym, put down the candy bar and quit bitching. "I want Ben and I to have our own place"- Good things come to those who wait. Learn to save your money better. At least you have somewhere (even if it isn’t ideal) to call home, many people don’t.  "I want to have more money"- Who doesn’t? Work more hours, and again, you have way more than a lot of people. The cliche “Money cannot buy happiness” is brainless

I'm reminiscing this week. My dad's birthday is Saturday and I'm missing him a lot this week. For any of you who have lost someone recently, I can tell you that it does get easier with time (like they say), but there will be annoying flair-ups of emotion that will bring you to your knees. For instance, my dad's birthday, he would have been 57. There are things people say at funerals; "I'm so sorry", "time heals", "your loved one is in a better place", "think about the good times". Some will continuously ask you the age-old question "how are you holding up?" and some are even bold enough to say, " I know what you are going through", because they sincerely think that they do. First of all, every loss is different. Regardless how similar the situation may be, no one can feel another persons pain, or take it away, for that matter. What the well-meaning guests don't tell you at a funeral, because

      "Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man."                           ~Rabindranath Tagore Today I met with the volunteer coordinator for the St. Charles Crisis Nursery. Walking into the two story 100 year old building I saw three children ages (approx) two, four & six. They were playing on the worn and dated (most likely donated) playground equipment outside with some of the other volunteers.  For those of you who don't know what the Crisis Nursery is, it is a non-for profit organization that takes children in when there is a crisis in the family. Their main cause is to prevent child abuse. I sit down with the coordinator for my "orientation". This includes giving her my social security card for a background screening and going over the rules of the nursery. She states that there are many reasons that children come into the center. Some situations may include a family member in jail, stressed out parents

When I was 5 I snuggled up in my twin bed with my Disney Princess comforter and had a dream, not just any dream, the most vivid dream I can remember.   I was on my pink bike, with the white basket and handle bar ribbons. I was speeding down my street with the wind blowing my knotty, should have been brushed, brown hair..............WITH NO TRAINING WHEELS!!!  The next morning (6 or 7am) I defiantly woke my dad and told him to take off the training wheels. I was going to learn to ride that bike. I explained to my dad that it had to be just like the dream or I was certain it wouldn't work. He humored me and made me waffles (just like in my dream) and my mom didn't brush my hair. We then went outside and he grabbed his tool box and headed for my bike. The wheels were off, just like that. I hopped on the seat and began to pedal.  Most kids fall the first few times , but for some reason I didn't . I pedaled slow at first and then faster until the wind was blowin