Attempting Ambition

Did you do anything significant today? Today, I went to school, had a job interview and then came home to finish the never ending pile of laundry. Nothing earth shattering, nothing world changing. I didn’t volunteer for anything, I didn’t go out of my way to help someone less fortunate than me, and I didn’t save a life. I would venture to say most of you can relate. We all go through the motions of our daily lives, which are seemingly mundane. We all wish we could do SOMETHING more, SOMETHING meaningful, SOMETHING significant. Did you smile today? If you answered yes, then you did do something significant. Why shouldn’t you or I feeling happy about something, indicate significance? Sure, you didn’t sign up for the twenty dollar monthly donation so that a child in Africa can eat or go to school, but for a brief moment, you were happy with something in your life. A smile costs nothing but can give so much.   It enriches those who receive without making poorer those who gi...

When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. -unknown strength I took the elevator up to the unit I would be working in on this particular day. I sauntered over to the nurses’ station in my black scrubs with much less than a smile on my face due to my early rising of 5am and my inadequate coffee consumption. The nurse states that I will be in a particular room for the day. She also says “good luck, that lady is absolutely crazy”.  Now for those of you who don’t know what I do for a living, I am a Patient Safety Assistant (PSA). I sit (literally) with psychotic/suicidal patients who are at risk for hurting themselves. So yes, Ms-know-it-all-nurse, I’m sure she is probably not the most mentally stable. I walk into the room and the frail seventy-something-year -old woman is i...

So here is a funny story you all may enjoy. Ben and I have been shopping around for wedding bands. After seeing what all the jewelers had to offer, we finally selected and purchased his band last night. I absolutely love my marquis diamond engagement ring with round accent stones.  Ben had this custom designed using family diamonds, but this custom ring was turning into a nightmare. We had been to almost every jeweler in St. Charles/St. Louis with no luck in finding a band that looked right with my custom made engagement ring. I liked the look of double diamond bands on either side of the ring, but that was outrageous in price. Finally, we found the perfect setting about two weeks ago, but decided not to purchase just yet. As I said we purchased Ben’s band last night, so then since he got his ring I wanted to at least go look at the setting (a diamond guard that my engagement ring will sit inside) that I had decided on. The store happened to be  holding a sale yesterday th...

Be strong and endure for one day this pain will be useful. We all know those people to whom everything has been handed. The people who have everything and have worked for nothing. Before you get excited, this post is not being used to bash those people. It is not their fault.  I will also say, if you are one of those people, this post is also going to be beneficial to you. We are all dealt cards in life. Some get the good ones, and some get the shitty ones, but it is all in how you play the game. We tend to envy those who have it all, but what if I said they should envy those who have struggled. To those of you that have cried, screamed and fought in life, I praise you. For those who have thought that they couldn’t accomplish something and then did, I admire you. For those of you that kept going when no one thought you could, I commend you.  In my life, I have struggled, a lot. I can tell you that I wouldn’t change anything that has happened to me. If there is anything...

When going through an old box the other day I came across this poem. It was from when I attended an arts academy when I was in high school. The purpose of this poem is inspiration. Enjoy. THE INVITATION   By Oriah Mountain Dreamer It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.  It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.  It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.  I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance...

Sometimes I feel myself whining about wanting things to be different (I’m sure you can all relate). I want to be skinnier. I want Ben and I to have our own place. I want to have more money. I want more gratification for all the things I do. I want, I want, I want…. Then I began to think about all the things I “want” and gave myself a little pep talk about always searching for “more”. "I want to be skinner"- Get over it Liz. At least you can walk and have no physical handicaps; there are some people out there who cannot say that. Go to the gym, put down the candy bar and quit bitching. "I want Ben and I to have our own place"- Good things come to those who wait. Learn to save your money better. At least you have somewhere (even if it isn’t ideal) to call home, many people don’t.  "I want to have more money"- Who doesn’t? Work more hours, and again, you have way more than a lot of people. The cliche “Money cannot buy happiness” is brainless...

I'm reminiscing this week. My dad's birthday is Saturday and I'm missing him a lot this week. For any of you who have lost someone recently, I can tell you that it does get easier with time (like they say), but there will be annoying flair-ups of emotion that will bring you to your knees. For instance, my dad's birthday, he would have been 57. There are things people say at funerals; "I'm so sorry", "time heals", "your loved one is in a better place", "think about the good times". Some will continuously ask you the age-old question "how are you holding up?" and some are even bold enough to say, " I know what you are going through", because they sincerely think that they do. First of all, every loss is different. Regardless how similar the situation may be, no one can feel another persons pain, or take it away, for that matter. What the well-meaning guests don't tell you at a funeral, because ...