Dear 13 year old Liz...

Sometimes when I am feeling like I need to write, for whatever reason, I think of things that can impact others. This post is slightly different. Recently I read an article about "writing to yourself, for yourself". The idea is that writing to a younger version (you pick the age, usually young teen years) of yourself can stimulate a sense of understanding and control in ones life. Here it goes.

Dear 13 year old  Liz,

I am 22 and I am you. Yes, you make it through this awkward stage of being severely taller than EVERYONE in your class. That awful bang trim you gave yourself does grow back. You also never really learn to whistle or cook.   Here are some points you should understand well.

On education: This is something that is currently the most important thing to me (older you). Currently you are going to school because you are required to. You do enjoy learning-even if waking up in the morning is tough sometimes. Your thirst for knowledge doesn't go away. You will have to be your own motivator. There will be no one telling you to go to school, no one checking your grades and no one over-the-moon excited when you get an A in a tough class. You will become very self sufficient in your quest for your college degree, and you will enjoy the accomplishments even more because of it.  You will come across many concepts that are difficult-but you conquer them with determination. 

On career choice: All that time spent wanting to be a doctor wasn't a waist. You are more than capable of doing so, however, I think you will change your mind ;-). You are meant to become a nurse. Everything in your mind, body and soul will, without a doubt, tell you the same thing. There is nothing else you will be able to imagine yourself doing-even when nursing school knocks you on your ass a couple times. 

On life: It is not fair. 
 
On self-esteem: You have always, and will continue to carry yourself with a sort of confidence that is only manifested in people who are truly happy in their own skin. You will struggle to understand the shear shallowness of people, and that's okay.  You will find that you have a tendency to question your worth, don't do this. Never base your sense of self worth because of anyone's opinion or treatment of you. You are bright and strong, and as you get older this will all become clearer. You will battle your own self-esteem issues, but they will never define you. You will find people who make you feel poorly about yourself and people who make you feel better than you thought you could ever feel, I don't need to tell you who to veer towards.

On friends: Liz, you will have so many through high school and college. However, be aware that eventually (age 22) you will have approximately 10 friends that you care deeply for. These people are some of your current friends and some others you will meet along your journey. They are wonderful. You will lose friends too. Some because you are stubborn, some for unknown reasons, and some of these losses will hurt.

On family: You will come to point where everything around you will change in this aspect. Your dad passes away when you are 16. This is hard to swallow, so spend every second you can loving him, asking him questions and LISTENING. You will want to get a tattoo in his remembrance, then you will recall that he HATED tattoos, so you won't do it. You will be hurt by your family, you will be helped by your family and you will still always love your family.

On love: You meet the love of your life in two short years. Ben. He is kind, caring and most importantly, he loves you unconditionally. You will hit speed bumps and come to a point where you aren't sure if this is the right thing for you, I assure you, it is. You will be engaged and have a wonderful wedding surrounded by friends and family. You will be broke for what seems like forever, but you are both happy and that is what matters.

On struggle: You will come to know it well. After all you go through you will still be positive. You will still have a sense of gratefulness.  You will have hard days, really hard days. There will be times that you feel like you work so hard and it isn't getting you anywhere. You will struggle with you emotions related to relationships and you will struggle with forgiveness. If there is one thing that I could tell you about struggle it would be that, despite the cliche - it will all be worth it.  

On mistakes: You will make SO MANY mistakes. You will lie, cheat and steal (lip gloss from walmart when you are 15) You will use a fake ID and get caught. You will also fall in love with the kids at the crisis nursery that you are required to go to for the community service you owe. You will drink too much and the hangovers get worse as you age. You will make decisions that you know are wrong. You will become emotionally vulnerable toward people you shouldn't and you will end up getting hurt. You will learn to embrace every mistake you have made because you are able to learn so much from each one. 

In a word, you are bold.





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